Revised Exercise 5.10

Three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital early Sunday morning and were diagnosed with alcohol poisoning. One is listed in critical condition.

Press Martin, a junior, engineering major from Shethar, N.D. and Rob Smith, a sophomore, business major from here in town were released on Monday morning, but freshmen, liberal arts major Al Amalek, from Nashville, Tenn. is in critical condition.

University president Harvey Smithville restated the previous policy that banned alcohol from any fraternity house located on campus property or within campus environs. The policy states: “any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense with a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”

Interfraternity Council president Bart Addison said the council agrees with President Smithville and alcohol should not be allowed at fraternity parties.  The university also released a statement saying witnesses saw the young men drinking and the fraternity will be suspended. Jan Mize, representative from the university’s public relations department, said that a one-year suspension usually results from these circumstances and actions.

Addison believes the entire fraternity should not be blamed and he hopes the president will reconsider the suspension of the ABZ’s.

One Response to “Revised Exercise 5.10”

  1. dkois says:

    Pretty good lead, but that little second sentence needs to be either folded into the lead or pushed down into a different paragraph. Your lead is wordy, though:

    Three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to a local hospital early Sunday morning with alcohol poisoning.

    Do you think you could include the suspension in the lead as well? That’s newsy.

    2nd graf: Pick and choose your info. This is very complicated and confusing. Maybe pick EITHER major OR hometown OR class year?

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